The Coupon
by DryadSpeaks
Summary: Spinoff of All My Dreams Chapter 51 and The Smile on Your Face Chapter 34.  Artie FINALLY uses the coupon Quinn gave him for his birthday...  see my story "Happy Birthday, Artie!" .  There will be making out.  And Yoda.


"Hey Quinn," Artie said into his phone, trying to be quiet. "Just found out my family's going to visit one of my mom's friends tonight for dinner...their house isn't exactly accessible, and I said I had lots of homework, so I'm staying here. Coupon? They'll be gone for a while."

Quinn laughed. "Way to be subtle with that."

She could imagine that her remark had turned his face bright red.

And it had.

"Um...sorry. I got a little excited. I know we're both still kind of sick, but I can breathe normally again, and it sounds like you're feeling better? Now...Coupon?"

Quinn grinned. "Yeah...I am feeling better. I didn't have it nearly as bad as you did. Oh, and I think the coupon might have expired."

There was silence on the phone.

Artie fumbled to keep his composure. Expired? There was no expiry date on there, was there? Had he missed something? Maybe she was kidding.

"B-b-b..."

"Relax, I'm just kidding. Breathe! I'll be over around 5?"

He agreed, and after trying to decide who loved who more, they hung up.

* * *

Artie went into his room and started digging through his drawer. He knew the Star Wars boxers were somewhere...being saved for a special occasion. This special occasion. In place of where the entire stack should have been, he found one pair, along with a note.

"Dear Brother Artie, I hope you don't mind, I needed your boxers for a school project. I left you one pair in case you wanted to wear them for Quinn. Enjoy! Love, Michael."

"Brother" Artie? Boxers for a school project? WHAT? Surely this was some sort of joke. He started to get worried. Maybe he had just moved them.

However, after digging through all his drawers, his fears were confirmed. The pair that Michael had left him had Yoda on them. He thought back to his birthday, when he had jokingly thought about wearing the Yoda ones for Quinn, because having a grizzled, green midget on your privates was bound to please the ladies, wasn't it?

Suddenly that didn't seem so funny. How could anything romantic happen with Yoda boxers? Maybe, if it got to that, he could turn off the lights and she wouldn't notice.

He thought about it for a bit, and couldn't come up with any plan that would work. Of course, he could wear just plain boxers, but he'd promised her the Star Wars ones.

He went to Michael's room to have a look, but all he found was a note lying on the bed saying "Don't bother looking. You won't find them."

How did Michael even know that he had planned to have Quinn over and would need his boxers? It wasn't something he had ever discussed with...anyone.

He thought for a bit, but a solution did not present itself.

He had promised her Star Wars boxers, and Yoda would just have to do.

* * *

Quinn was scrambling. She was supposed to be at Artie's house in fifteen minutes, and she couldn't find the rest of her fake hair. She knew he'd be just as thrilled without it...but the coupon was for the package deal, and she wanted everything to be perfect.

Finally, she found it. She stuffed everything into a bag, deciding it would be better to change at Artie's rather than try to explain to her mother why she was wearing a gold bikini and fake hair in November.

She told her mom she was going over to Artie's to keep him company because his family was out, and was pleased when her mother didn't try and stop her.

It wasn't a lie, right? She was going to keep him company, and his family was out. She just didn't give all the details.

* * *

Artie was just coming out of the kitchen when he heard the doorbell. He had told Quinn several times that she could just come in, but she insisted on waiting until someone let her in, every time. She said it was rude to just barge in.

He said that when someone gives you permission, it wasn't rude anymore.

She didn't listen. He knew he'd get her convinced...eventually.

"Heyyyyy," he said, trying to be...he wasn't even sure. Things never quite came out how they sounded in his head.

She grinned. "Sorry I'm a bit late. I was looking for something, and then I found it."

"Yeah...I was looking for something too, but I didn't find it," he said, silently cursing Michael again for hiding his boxers. He still couldn't believe that.

"I'm just going to go get changed..." she said, heading towards the bathroom.

"All business, aren't you?" he said, trying not to show how entertained he was by the fact that she was so eager to get into her outfit.

"Hey, we have to make the most of this!" he heard, as the bathroom door shut.

Well, he couldn't argue with that, right?

* * *

"Oh. My. God. I think I'm speechless."

"No you're not...you just said 'I think I'm speechless,'" Quinn said as she twirled around to show off the entire outfit.

He just sat there for a moment, taking her in. She looked amazing. He thought she looked even better than she did on Halloween.

"You look...like an angel. From Tatooine. Only without the sand. And Jabba. I'm going to be quiet now."

She smiled, walking slowly toward him.

"I take it you like this?"

"Um...yes. That's putting it mildly. I think I like this more than I've liked anything, ever. This is better than everything."

She bent down, and kissed him gently. He kissed back.

This continued for a couple of minutes, until he pulled back a bit.

"Um...I think I might be allergic to your fake hair," he said, looking kind of sheepish.

"You're allergic to my fake hair? Are you sure?"

"Well, either that, or my cold is suddenly back and making it difficult for me to breathe."

Without moving away from him, she reached to the back of her head, grabbed the fake hair, and threw it into the hall.

"Better?"

He grinned. "Sorry...I thought it would be ok, but I don't really have much experience with fake hair. Besides...I like your real hair way better than that fake stuff anyway!"

"Now, where were we, before you rudely interrupted?" She noticed that his eyes were getting kind of red, and she hoped that would go away now that the fake hair was gone.

He grinned. "Well, I was just going to suggest that we take this to my bed. You know...because it's big and soft and comfortable..."

She sat down on his lap, careful to make sure that the skirt thing (whatever that was called) she was wearing didn't get stuck in his wheels. Once she was in place, he said, "Welcome to Abrams motor services. Please keep all appendages inside the vehicle," and wheeled towards the bedroom.

* * *

They were lying beside each other on the bed. Artie had thoroughly explored the Princess Leia costume, and Quinn had thoroughly explored Artie's upper body. He thought that they probably could have gone further, but he was pretty sure she didn't want that, and he was a gentleman. He wasn't going to push anything on her. If something was going to happen, it would when the time was right. He wasn't in a hurry.

"How did I not know you were this muscular? You're so hot." she said, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Well...I don't usually go around shirtless, so...yeah." He couldn't help but smile. She thought he was hot.

"What about those Star Wars boxers?"

He had completely forgotten about that.

"Um...Maybe we should turn off the lights first. You know...it'll be more romantic."

She looked a bit confused.

"Ok. Why don't we turn off the main light, but leave the little one in the corner on? We need to be able to see each other." She wasn't sure what was going on, but if he would be more comfortable with some of the lights off, then that would be ok.

He agreed. Maybe it would be dark enough that she wouldn't notice. He hoped.

Quinn got up and went to turn off the light switch, before climbing back up beside him. She knew that there was a chance they might have sex, and she was surprised with the fact that that didn't freak her out. She wasn't sure that Artie was ready for that, and she decided not to press the issue. It would be way more special if they both reached that point together. She reached down and slowly pulled off his pants.

"Artie...is that Yoda?"

Damn! She had noticed. He was so sure he was in the clear when she'd turned off the light.

"Um...yes. Sorry...I know that me having Yoda down...there probably killed all the romance we've been building up here. I had a bit of a problem."

She was amused, but he looked seriously concerned, so she tried not to laugh. "A bit of a problem?" What did that mean?

"I had the Obi-Wan boxers all ready to go, because I know you think he's hot..."

She couldn't contain herself anymore, and burst out laughing.

"...but then when I opened the drawer, everyone but Yoda was gone, and Michael had left a note saying he needed my boxers for a school project. I'm pretty sure that was a lie. I tried to find them, but there are so many places he could have put them that I wouldn't be able to reach, and I couldn't find them, and I promised you Star Wars boxers and there was only Yoda...so here we are."

She didn't think it was possible for his face to get any redder, and yet it just kept getting darker and darker. He couldn't even look at her.

"Awww," she said, lifting his face so that his eyes met hers, "did you honestly think I would care if you were wearing boxers with Yoda, or Obi-Wan, or...I don't know, a Wookie on them?"

"I don't know, I just didn't want to kill the mood with Yoda. I mean...you know how awesome I think he is, and I know you like him, but Yoda isn't really romantic or anything."

She grinned. "It could have been worse. It's not like you decided to talk like Yoda or anything. Actually...I'm not sure if that would be a huge turn off, or if it would just make this whole thing more awesome."

He couldn't believe what was happening. He was lying on his bed with Quinn Fabray, and she was telling him how it might be hot if he talked like Yoda while they were making out. He wanted to tell someone about it, but decided not to. Some things were just better left private.

* * *

Artie tried to work some Yoda-speak into their making out after that point, but finally he decided that it was something he needed to practice a bit before it was sexy and not just awkward. Besides...Quinn looked WAY too amused every time he opened his mouth, and it distracted her from making out with him. He couldn't have that.

"It's almost 9. I think my peeps will be home soon," he said, reaching for his glasses to make sure that it was actually already that late. The evening had gone by way too quickly.

"I should probably put my other clothes back on...I don't want your family to see me like this."

He thought about telling her that wasn't necessary, but then thought a bit more about it and decided she was definitely right. It would be difficult to be discreet if his parents arrived to find him in his Yoda boxers and his girlfriend dressed up like Princess Leia.

"I should probably put mine on too. Have you seen my pants?"

Once they were dressed, they went out to the living room.

"That was amazing," he said, smiling at her. "We'll have to do it again."

"You're right. We definitely need to do this again. I was thinking next time maybe we could...you know. If you want to. No pressure." Her cheeks flushed.

He didn't know what to say.

"I want to."

Couldn't he come up with something better than that? He was glad when she smiled and leaned in to kiss him.

Just as their lips parted, he heard the door open.

"We're home!" his mom announced, walking into the living room. "Did you guys have a nice evening?"

"Yeah, Mom, it was great," he said, hoping that his face wasn't as red as he felt like it was.

Quinn stood up. "I should really be getting home before it gets too late."

Artie walked Quinn to the door, and she placed a soft kiss on his cheek before opening it to let herself out.

"I had a really good time tonight. We should do this again."

"We should. I'll brush up on my Yoda-ese for next time. I love you!" he said, as she stepped outside.

"Love you too. I'll text you when I get home! And yes...you brush up on your Yoda. I want to see that full-force next time."

With that, she closed the door. Artie turned, to see his brother standing a few feet behind him.

Michael was grinning from ear to ear, expecting Artie to be mad about the boxer situation.

"Thanks, bro," he said, rolling by, "I owe you one."

Michael was confused. That totally wasn't the reaction he had been hoping for, and he decided he'd better step up his game for next time.

**A/N: I know, I know...I should have gone into more detail about the whole QA making out thing, but I have a hard time writing that stuff! I'm such a prude! I don't know what I'm going to do when they actually have sex...I may have to find someone to ghost write it for me. hahaha**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! This story was one of the most fun to write out of all the ones I've done.**

**Next up, I have a wonderful afternoon planned for Artie, Quinn, Martin and AJ.**

**Feedback greatly appreciated, as always!**


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